I am not a gardener.

And yet in the moments where I noticed love existing in my life, it felt like burning down everything to create space for new seeds to be planted and watering them and their little parts that grew.

However I can. Every day.

Love showed up for me even when it was difficult, inconvenient, painful, busy, fast, slow, boring, unexpected, quiet.

It was in those moments that I appreciated the contrasts.

Like the charged feeling in the air as I anticipate meeting someone I intuitively know I’m meeting before actually meeting them in my entire life.

Or when I allow grief to exist in my body long enough to notice where love truthfully wants to go until I can take the leap of faith to express it even if it means letting love and freedom coexist.

Because to me, to truly love means being authentic. It means being seen in my truest expression of love even if it means letting love exist as it wants to be—with or without me.

Love is an act of surrender. Letting go of control.

I don’t want it if it means I can’t fully express myself.

I don’t want you to love me if it means I have to play a role just to keep you happy. Just to keep the peace. Just to make you comfortable.

And I don’t want to love you if it means losing yourself so you can keep me.

These letters are recordings of when I felt love existed.

Thank you for experiencing love with me.

Truthfully,

Dianne